Howdy Strangers

I know noone ever reads this since I dont ever post, but I just linked to my site from my moms and so I realised that I havent blogged since april last year...man im a bad bad blogger.

Well my life has progressed, Im now enrolled in a Bachelor of Education (teachers college) at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology training to become an intermediate senior math and/or science teacher. I have been keeping an A+ average (believe it or not) I am broke as hell and have been forced to take on a part time job in the registrars office so that I can eat.

In 2 weeks today it will be my 1 year anniversary with Matt and I've never been happier with my personal life. We have a $50 gift certificate for the Keg that his brother and wife gave us for x-mas that we are going to use to go out on a date for our anniversary. Since we are both broke thats the best we get. School is super stressful and overwhelming, I have been forced to not procrastinate (hence the lack of blogging) yet I seem to be doing just that as we speak.

My roommate at school is a spoiled annoying brat whom I am beginning to dislike more and more every day. I have gained approximately 30 lbs since I have been here at school (not cool) and have not had the money nor the energy to pay attention to WW, but I'm kinda trying lately.
Well its time to try to get to bed even though its 1:30am and my asshole inconsiderate roommate wont go to bed and she refuses to turn off the tv when I do go to bed, maybe I can beg or something.

Before I go I dont want to give the impression that my life is crap. My life is wonderful and hopefully I will be a gianfully employed teacher come this september making approx. $42 000 to start. But for some reason this seems like a great way to bitch and complain to the wonderful world of noone (except my mama dukes and aimuu, who make it all worth while) and not have to worry about it. I guess I like complaining...call me pessimistic.

I'm gonna try to sleep now, bye bye!!
XOXO

Things fall apart

I title this blog from a book i think I remember reading in highschool. I cant remember what it was about. Just remember the title, but thats how I would describe how I have been feeling lately so it seemed appropriate.

So here I am on wednesday night looking back on the past week thinking 'is it ever going to end?'. I have had several things fall apart on me the past few days. The first thing was with my thesis. I was supposed to be getting my data on thursday of last week so that I could do up my quick analysis (haha yeah right!) and then write up a half assed results and discussion section and go home on saturday and be done with my undergrad for ever. But no, of course this was not allowed. I was informed on thursday I wouldnt be getting my data till friday afternoon or saturday. This obviouslt made it inpossible to get my thesis done before going home meaning I couldnt go home...what a kick in the ass. Well if that wasnt bad enough, I didnt get the data till sunday night around 10pm and of what I did get, 25% of it had major errors. I got to work on it right away and ended up spending approximately 18-20 hours fixing the problems. Once I finially finished that and did some analysis on it, I kept finding little errors making me have to re-do things. SO I finally think I got all the kinks out of it and I meet with my advisor and she tells me where to go from there in term os tables and stuff. So I go home to make the tables and I find (once I get to the last table no less) that I had completely shifted my data for a entire condition, over by one column making everything I had run for my analysis and all the numbers I'd put into my tables wrong!! So I had to re-do that...I have re-done it, but now my advisor has decided that she wants me to do something completely different with my analysis, so I'm not done yet.

On another note of bad news, I found out yesterday morning that all of the summer students that we supposed to be working in my mom's office have had their jobs cancelled due to lack of funding to pay for us. SO 6 days before I was supposed to start, I find out I am now lacking a full time job this summer, and I have to find something which I'm guessing the chances of that happening are very low. But my mother being the wonderful woman she is has begun trying to hunt for a job for me since she knows I am already so stressed and bogged down with my thesis and she know's I cant handle job hunting too right now. That will have to wait till I get home and am finished my stupid thesis.

So at this point I was thinking I couldnt handle any more stress and I was breaking down crying every time I turned the corner but of course I had to have one more thing thrown at me just to push me over the edge. I go to the washroom last night and what do I find? It hurts like a mad man to pee AND I am peeing blood. FUN!!! Just what I need, my very first urinary tract infection!! SO I went to health services this morning (an hour behind schedule because I had to reset my alarm an hour ahead because I woke up a total of 10 times to pee last night and I didnt start sleeping sound till about 5am) and the nurse tells me yes I likely do have a bladder/UT infection, however, I'll hve to give a urine sample just to be sure. Well wouldnt you know...after all that peeing in the night time, I didnt have to pee anymore!! damn it! So I go and get a tea from timmy ho's and drink that and about 8 dixi cups of water and pace the waiting room of health services (waiting sick students clearly looking uncomfortable at my impatience and obvious irritation) for an HOUR before I could finally pee. When I did it was pain full as al hell, and man was it scary to see my dark yellow pee with streams of blood running through it all condensedin a tiny cup...it was much less scary when it was diluted in a green toilet. Anyways, I gave it to the nurse who dipped a stick with markers into it (without wearing gloves might I add) and put me in an examination room to wait for the doctor to have time for me....half an hour later, I was all studied up on the maclean's article of how I am fat because of my brain...not my behaviour...the doctor came in, said yes indeed I do have a UTI (I TOLD YOU PEOPLE THAT FROM THE BEGINNING!!) and so she gave me some smaples she had of the drugs I needed (thanks for saving me the trip to the pharmacy and the money) so I am now on drugs that make my pee flourescent orange (quite remarkable actually) and make me feel much better.

To add another pleasant note to my day (or not) I decided I needed a salad to have with my chicken tonight so I went to macdonnel vilage to get a yummy greek salad, even tho its $5.75....its the best salad ive ever had. So i swipe my debt card...INSUFFICIENT FUNDS!!! I cant even afford a damn $5 salad!! I checked my balance when I got home....$2.89, LOL. Man I'm broke. So I cant even eat healthy...although Valerie gave me a charity head of romaine lettuce when I told her the story. My greek salad (kraft dressing....not as good as Macdonnel village...but ok just the same) wth chicken was wonderful. Now its 9:40 and I should get back to work. I just thought I should share my shitty week with you all. Now you can understand why I am such a crabby bitch if you speak to me. Which most of you dont do anyways, so its all good. Well wish me luck!

XOXO

I'm goin to the zoo, zoo, zoo....how about you, you, you?!

Hi,
I am being a bad girl and I am really not feeling like doing work right now so I decided to write on here...crazy and a waste of time I know...but I'm all alone and I have noone to procrastinate with. So right now I am SUPER excited for the weekend. This is seriously going to be the best birthday ever. It is definately the most eventful one in many years. Since I have been in university my birthday has always been in the middle of exams and I have usually not done much more than having a special dinner. I mean there was always something special for example:

1st year: I got sun stroke the day before my b-day from studying outside for my calculus exam which was on my b-day, which I failed because I had sun stroke...but then Jill and Karen and KT? (was KT there too? I forget...oops) came at night and brought me the first food I could keep down...rainbow bit birthday cake! So amazing!

2nd year: I wrote a stats exam which I made sure I did not get sun stroke before so I did ok think, but then on my way home from the exam my momma was in my drive way cause she came and spent the night, and we ordered chineese food and watched movies and it was wonderful.

3rd year: I did not have an exam on my birthday because it was a saturday...woo hoo...but Aimee wrote genetics, then after we went out for dinner to east side marios which was excellent, then we bought some movies from HMV to watch and went to Sugar Mountain and stocked up on sweets. Then we went to a keggar at my old house which we stayed at for like 15 minutes before we got bored and left because I only really knew Ashleigh and she was busy with all her guests. So we went home to watch movies and relax. That was a great birthday too.

This year though, I am pretty excited. I am going to the ZOO with Matt since it is his birthday too (the 16th, one day before mine). So I am going home (my first b-day home in 4 years) friday night, to hopefully hang out with the fam and Matt and maybe if I'm lucky I'll get to see a few of my friends while I'm home. The I'm sleeping at Matt's, we're gonna get up early, maybe his mom will make us her special pancakes I hear so much about, and then we're off to the ZOO. I can not remember the last time I went to the ZOO. It should be super! Then we will probably have dinner with Matts family when we get back. Who knows what they usually do in terms of a b-day dinner for him, I'm not sure, but his parents love me so I bet it will be great no matter what happens. After that I dont know what we'll do. That will be up to Matt since it IS his birthday, haha. But I will then sleep at home and wake up on my birthday with my family and have a nice birthday breakfast (maybe waffles if I'm lucky) before heading back to waterloo to have a wonderful b-day dinner with my wonderful sister. This is going to be the most eventful birthday in years.
I owe a lot of it to Matt who is amazing and I am falling more and more in love with every day! I can not wait until I am back home. This summer is going to be great I just know it. I never knew I could be as happy as I am now, and so just imagine how much better it will be when I dont have this HORRID THESIS HANGING OVER MY HEAD ANYMORE!!!!! I am 5 lbs away from reaching my weight loss goal (that will be a total of 81.4 lbs when I'm done!!) which is tough when its stress time and its b-day celebration time...so I dont expect to make that goal within the next week or three, but it'll happen soon enough. It would be amazing if I could make goal by may 1st which would make it exactly one year from when I started, but if it doesnt happen its ok, I can handle that.
Anyways, I have wasted a lot of time now and its time to make dinner before the OC is on. Talk soon I'm sure, Ciao!!
XOXO

I'm gonna be a teacher :D

Hello all,

Yesterday I got a message that Dr. Bill Hunter from the University of Ontario Institute of Technology called to let me know that my interview went really well (back on Feb 25th) and so if I have any questions to call him back. So I called back today and the lady I spoke with said that I can look forward to getting an acceptance letter in the mail next week!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!! I got accepted to teachers college!! Not at my first choice school (York) but at my second, and who even cares about my third choice...I dont want to live in North Bay!! So that is wonderful and it made my day. To celebrate I made Aimee come shopping with me :D We went to the mall and I bought a new outfit. A really awesome knee length jean skirt, and a black and white pin stripe blouse. I figured it was perfect for the office, and just in time for my poster conference tomorrow afternoon. I am super nervous for that too by the way. I still have to prepare my 5-10 min talk for my evaluators, but that wont take much, I know my research better than anyone else.

I am so happy that I will be living in Oshawa next year. It means I am not too far from home, I can keep the tickets I got for Jack Johnson and Sylvia Browne so thats awesome. And I will be close to Matt too so that is amazing :D

Well I surprisingly dont have much else to say, but thats my happy news for the day.
Ciao!
XOXO

wow 3 days in a row...im on a roll

OK so there are many things that have to be mentioned today. firstly an update on the paper that was due last night...it's in and looked good (i didnt get a chance to read it within the 2 minutes before class, but it looked pretty) the girl apparently couldtn send it to us because she doesnt have microsoft word...who does that?!?...she has works apparently and so she couldnt even open our sections at home, she had to use the school computers...which dont have works, so she had to print off the sectiions seperately then put it all together in folder, so she couldnt send it to us b/c she couldnt get it all into one file. but its done, who cares, good, bye bye.

next, we had THE BEST group processes and possibly the best ever class last night. The presentation was on music therapy and we had a presenter named terri who brought in like 15 drums (like cool african drums) as well as several other different instruments and we basically made music all night. It was amazing! the way our class all worked together to make amazing music that flowed so well and sounded awesome, it was unreal. each person played off the other people in the room and the impact was felt by all. Who could have thought that making so much noise could be such a stress relief. It was the most relaxing thing just letting everything out into your instrument and participating in this drum circle. if you ever get a chance to attend a drum circle, DO IT! its awesome. she works out of TO apparently so check it out.

ok then we have the dreaded thesis once again. my professor and my advisor are telling me different things and I dont know which one I should trust. Im thinking maybe my professor since it is him who makes up the marking guidelines for our secret evaluators, but unfortunately that means much more work for me...i was almost done, but now I have to re-do a lot and add a lot too, so that'll be this evenings task before I can start my poster.

anyways, now on to fun stuff. Im going home this weekend and my man is coming to bring me home. I cant wait for him to come tomorrow night. I am so excited to see him even though technically I just saw him 2 days ago, it seems like forever. Last night he said to me that he was worried that I am going to get mad at him when he doesnt want to go out and do things all the time, I kinda laughed. I absolutely love sitting around and doing nothing, and I rarely go out, but for some reason when I am with him I have always felt like I should be finding something for us to do so that he doesnt get bored, and here we are totally getting eachother wrong and stressing over nothing because in the end we both want the same thing...to be able to spend time together and not have to do or worry about anything. Man we're funny. Its amazing how good he makes me feel. About everything, about myself, about my life, about my goals. I know its not right to center your life around one person, and I have no intentions of doing that, but I am just so incredibly happy that he is a part of my life. Its a different kind of happiness that I've never felt before. Its wonderful :D

ok so I have blabbed a lot and wasted another half an hour so I should really get to work on finishing that handout. HOME IN 2 MORE SLEEPS!! YAY!!! how exciting is that :D

Ciao!
XOXO

finally I own up to my mistakes

So I finally finished my introduction for my thesis (an introduction being a literature review of all the past relevant research that supports my theories behind why I am doing the research I am doing) last night and I emailed it to my thesis advisor. In my email I apologized for the tardiness with no excuses other than I just didnt have it done before now. Surprisingly enough when I finally went and talked to her this morning (the first time all term...I was avoiding her because I was so behind) she was friendly and not bitter and all was well much to my greatful surprise. So why exactly was I dreading coming face to face with her again?! maybe I was making mountains out of molehills because of my huge embarassment and she really just hadnt had time to hunt me down for it as much as I didnt have time to do it. Well that is done and I can move on to the next deadline which is my handout and poster for the poster conference next week. all of these things are due on easter monday but I am going to try my hardest to get them done before the weekend since I am going home and I cant bullshit my self into thinking I will get anything done at home because it never happens, but I have to go home becuase I want to and My mommy misses me and thats more inportant that some stupid thesis conference (which by the way is basically an academic conference where we all have to be professional and present our research to people passing by in the science building as well as 3 mystery professors who will be evaluating us on our poster, handout, and 5 minute presetnation...ooh I wish I could buy a new outfit, haha).

two more things to vent about and I'll be done being so negative for now, haha. First I wasted an hour of my day today because I went to enter some data from a survey and it took me 45 minutes to do it, and then when I went to save it, it came back as being empty. Completely empty as though I had done nothing. I lost an entire hour of work and I didnt know how to get it back. I was so damn frustrated!! I'm almost over it now though :)

Next, I have a paper due today that I worth a large chunk of my group processes class and even thought I wrote my portion of the paper months ago (a definate first for me btw) my group members have taken forever to decide who would put it all together (all 4 portions) and all that jazz, so we decided to give it to janine to put together and edit and then she was to send it to us to proof read and make sure its good then we'd get it handed in. we gave it to her becuase she claimed to have the least busy schedule and the most time to do it. this girl seems like a keener so I had no doubts leaving it in her hands...however we still dont have anything to proof read!! we emailed her asking where it was and she writes back late last nght saying she wont have it to us till today...yet we still have nothing. I am getting worried that we wont have a chance to edit this or even worse wont have anythign to hand in!! I guess that is what I get for letting someone else do it instead of handeling things myself but I have been so swamped with my thesis I jsut couldnt possibly have done that too. I will be so pissed if I get burnt because this girl is a dumb ass. Ill let you know how that one turns out!

well I have wasted about 30 min writing this and although I feel a tad bit better for having got all this off my chest, I have still wasted all this time so I should getto work on my handout. I just wish I could talk to Matt for a few minutes so he could make me feel better... he has a gift for doing that :D Ooh yeah, I want him to come over this weekend for our easter dinner....would that be totally wierd? I doubt he'd feel comfortable, but I want my family to get to know him. We'll see :D

ok, ciao all!
XOXO

Miserable mondays

Man I hate mondays. They are the worst day of my week. Maybe its just in comparison to the wonderful weekend I usually have. It may be difficult for some to understand my rationalization but I believe that I deserve the weekends to have some me time. I realise that I am behind and swamped in school work, but for the first time in my entire university career I have a boyfriend who I love spending time with and who, as hard as it is to believe, seems like he would do anything in his power for me. Thats 3.5 years worth of school that I had no male distractions. So I feel like I deserve to finally "get mine". Despite all the school garbage, I am getting things done and handed in on time. Like the abstract that was due for the thesis poster conference, it was due today, handed it in today. I have a handout due for the same conference wednesday, and I'll have it done for wedensday. In the mean time I am so happy with Matt I cant even tell you. Finally it seems like Aimee is accepting him and warming up to him and that means more to me than she could possibly know. Now just to work on my mother...maybe next weekend I'll have him over for dinner with my family or something. He is even coming over thursday night so he can bring Aimee and I home for easter either then or friday morning, we havent decided that yet. But despite our past relationships haunting us every once in a while, everything is amazing and I am happier than ever...in my personal life anyway...school is still shit and I cant wait till its finally over...I am so burnt out I am desperately in need of the summer sun and a good book...for pleasure!!! I can not remember the last book I read for pleasure!! it was definately over 2 years ago...man thats sad...but in one month I will be free of this school shit and free of Laurier for ever! well lets hope so anyways...if i dont get accepted to teachers colege I may end up back here part time again for a year, but lets not think about that just yet shall we?! Well I am off to attempt to identify some parasites...fun...Ciao!!
XOXO